Making Love After Making WarCategory: General   Mar 17th 2017  04:53PM   0

My passion for the study and practice of authentic intimacy and sexual expression is no secret. I believe erotic energy is life force energy, and that sexual connection is a blessed, celebratory experience, with power to heal and transform that should be available to all who need it. Obviously that's not the world we live in, though God knows I'm doing my part to make it happen. (Meet me halfway here, people! I'm just saying.)

Where was I? Oh, right.

The longstanding, corrosive effects of fear and shame, systemic to our society, have successfully brainwashed half the population into relinquishing their birthright to sensual pleasure and sexual expression. Were I a cynical person (I am a supremely cynical person), I'd say their mission now, is to rob the rest of us ours. In that vein, I consider myself a highly decorated soldier in the underground Sexual Freedom Rebellion (t-shirts and mugs available on my "products" page ...except I do not actually have a "products" page, nor will I ever. Make your own damn t-shirts. What the hell do you think Sharpies are for?)

Seriously though, to the day I die I will feel great pride for my years as a professional companion, one of relatively few Sacred Intimates currently available to countless pained souls, crippled by (or dying from) a worldwide epidemic of physical and emotional isolation. Maybe someday this work will be more widely accepted, or, dare I say, appreciated. (Hell, I'd settle for just a little less disparaged.

I do not believe that day will come in my lifetime, but perhaps those of the next generation's, the lovely, young, bold, idealistic ladies already working today. I like to think I'll be remembered as someone who helped blaze the trail and lay the groundwork ... though who knows. Respect for Sacred Intimacy is elusive as ever. Lately, it's seems we're going backward, more puritanical in views, laws, and behavior this year (possibly for the next four).

I was thrilled by recent gains made by the LGBT community, and hope they remain in place. My precious Sacred Intimate clan may or may not experience the same fate, but we aren't the only segment of the population being brushed aside.

If there's any truth to my belief that intimacy makes life worth living, who could possibly be more deserving than disabled veterans? After risking life, limb, and sanity, sacrificing in unfathomable ways physically, emotionally, and mentally, they're owed the best, most comprehensive care and support. And quite frankly, it's not happening.

Love After War is an organization hoping to change that. Their mission includes providing facilitated peer support, helpful information, and access to credentialed experts in sexual health and intimate relationships. They're documenting powerful stories of sexual resilience, and of couples maintaining emotional closeness and physical intimacy in the face of catastrophic injuries. Making Love After Making War  is an amazing in-the-works film by Dr. Mitchell Tepper, featuring wounded service members and their partners as real life examples of disabled veterans reclaiming healthy, fulfilling relationships despite their injuries. The awareness-raising documentary will also feature professional insights from experts in the field of sexuality and disability. The Department of Defense and Department of Veterans Affairs do their best to support these families but our wounded service members deserve all the help we can give them.

You can help tell their stories.

If you've ever wished for a tangible way to support our troops, or help repay them in some small (or huge) way, consider contributing to this endeavor. The fastest way to get Dr. Tepper's video to service members and their loved ones is to help back it financially. If you can’t contribute directly, consider sharing about it on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn to alert other potential investors.

I've already contributed a small sum. (If you'd like to match my donation, please email me for the amount.) 

No fewer than 3 of my ex-boyfriends (one ex-fiancé) were Viet Nam vets, all of whom suffered significant physical and emotional wounds. I have a soft-spot in my heart for vets and disabled men. The only discounts I ever gave, as a companion (or stripper, for that matter) were to those 2 groups of men. I don't currently offer discounts, but I give plenty in other ways, including time, expertise, attention, affection, and straight-up cold hard cash. If you can't donate to Dr. Tepper's film, please help spread the word.

At one time or another, we've all been blocked from sex and intimacy, though for most of us it was or is temporary. Take a few seconds to imagine what it might be like to return from war, facing all manner of challenges reintegrating to your community, your family, and your most cherished intimate partnership. Now imagine, on top of all those challenges, you discover sexual connection to be elusive at best, perhaps indefinitely, though possibly forever.

To be forced to find an entirely new way of being in the world is not something many people will ever experience. I've done it myself, as a recovered addict. I didn't end up partnering with so many veterans by coincidence. As it happens, we get each other in that way, because for veterans, the path from trauma to total life/identity upheaval is often also required of them. 

Everyone has a right to sexual freedom and erotic pleasure. If anyone's earned the right to jump the line, I'm okay with my profession taking 2nd place to injured veterans. 


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