Penis ThingsCategory: General   Mar 30th 2016  07:00AM   0

When I was 20 I met the man I consider to be the love of my life (thus far). His bedroom eyes were a rare shade of green, his quads Olympic gymnast-worthy, and his penis one of the most beautiful I've ever seen. He's hugely successful, fabulously wealthy, and married to a woman who probably hasn't sucked a cock since the 70s. (She doesn't know what she's missing.)

Most people aren't lucky enough to sleep with their muse. I did, and though it happened 5 years ago the image of his glorious penis is burned in my memory like it was yesterday. Seriously, it's up there with my ex's ... just one more flawless specimen on the Fabulous Penis spectrum.

Two other men in my "greatest lovers" category (which, who are we kidding, are culled from a sample size that could only be called comprehensive) had smaller than average penises. They were attached to sensual, passionate men who approached love-making as an art form, like sculpting or writing sonnets. Size really doesn't matter (to me) in the throes of such experiences. Good chemistry is more than half the battle and I've had phenomenal sex with a clumsy lover or three. (There's something highly arousing about unabashed, heartfelt enthusiasm ... but maybe that's just me.)

I had amazing sex in my teens with a girlfriend who (temporarily) erased all my desire for cock during our brief courtship. I dated a butch dyke shortly afterward to whom I wasn't attracted, yet provided the most mind-blowing orgasms of my life. Seriously, I lost all concept of time and space with her, forgetting my own name and address for ten or twenty seconds post climax. I think she had magical powers or something ... all I know is she didn't use sex toys or have a dick, yet to this day is unsurpassed on my orgasm-intensity scale.

Not long ago I was with a gent who was attractive, talented, and fun in bed, yet whose extra-long penis I found uncomfortable, even painful. I told him we should start an organization of doctors whose purpose would be to surgically shorten the male population's too-long penises, then sew the extra bits onto length-challenged men. I told him we could call our new charity "Cocks of Love" and he simultaneously laughed and cringed.

I imagine vaginas come in just as many lengths and widths. My experience there is more limited. Of course, I'm intimately familiar with my own and suspect it's on the shallow side. I've no idea whether any past lover or client took issue with this. Most men are more concerned with how their penis measures up. I don't think they even realize some vaginas are deeper than others. 

I've always preferred older gents, generally by 10-20 years. I've had clients in their 70s and at least one in his 80s. I've had fabulous sex with senior citizens and many ED afflicted partners who were better than your average 30-year-old hard dick "stud" lover.

I'm a modern woman by any standard yet also somewhat traditional insofar as needing an underlying connection (emotional, spiritual, what have you) to really get my motor running. It doesn't have to be kismet or true love ... I mean, there were times I established it from across a room. You know, like when you lock eyes and share that instant vibe, then suddenly just know that a badass erotic encounter is going down later on that night. I love it when that happens ... the kind of crazy chemistry that may not last, yet often makes for the most intensely passionate sex.

All of this is just to say, I guess, that good chemistry and satisfying sex encompass so much more than a large, hard dick or years of experience. I can still be an awkward, clumsy fuck, myself, at times ... especially when extra-enamored of a gent. Just like most men can be ... good men, that is, the kind who care about their partner's pleasure. Performance anxiety isn't just about ego, after all ... it's about impressing one's audience but also truly connecting with them. The reason I never pursued another tryst with my muse was that very intimidation factor. All my skills and confidence went out the window with him. I've seen it happen countless times with my lovers and clients and it always endears me to them. 

It usually passes, given time to establish a mutual comfort level. Sometimes it takes weeks or months to get there ... but really, what other initiation process could be more fun than this??


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