Polite ConversationCategory: General   Feb 15th 2016  12:13PM   0

I recently had an email exchange with a colleague that I found both disturbing and amusing. Disturbing in that she seemed to think I needed to be schooled on the realities of this type of work and amusing because the type of work she does isn't at all what I do, despite the outward resemblance. 

She called her clients idiots and assholes, ranting ad nauseam about her hatred for them. She said women my age can never be successful in this business and men in their 60s don't need companions because they're not very sexual. She said the best topics of conversation with clients and patrons were "travel, food, hobbies, and the news" (by which I believe she meant current events). That's where I ended the email exchange.

My clients are not idiots and assholes. They are, quite literally, some of the greatest, kindest, wisest, deepest, most compassionate and sensitive men I know. They are mostly in their 60s and happen to appreciate female companionship as much or more than at any other age, from teens to elderly men. And had I actually stuck to the list of superficial topics this (well-known, high-end) escort suggested, I'd have lost the interest of the vast majority of my darling patrons early on. Not to mention most of my own interest in this work.

My clients are worldly, experienced, passionate, sensitive men. They've been through huge challenges, devastating losses, thrilling successes, and confounding, life-altering, heart-wrenching romances. They've lost wives, children, fortunes, friends, dreams, illusions, and the bulk of their youth & vitality. They've gained wisdom, serenity, empathy, and various forms of security. I don't discuss "hobbies" or "food" with them. I wouldn't dream of insulting these brilliant, beautiful, and fascinating gents that way.

We discuss philosophy, theology, spirituality, and the bounds and mysteries of genuine intimacy. We talk about life and death, their autistic children, and cancer survivor (or victim) wives/friends/relatives. We cover aging, health issues, back injuries, and the nature of acceptance versus the self-defeating cockiness of youth. We talk of politics, creative pursuits, personal goals, and lost (or fulfilled) lifelong dreams. We talk about what it's like to have Parkinson's, cerebral palsy, eating disorders, addictions, abandonment issues, and idyllic or lousy childhoods. We share about missed opportunities, broken relationships, biggest regrets, proudest moments, and the joy of great sex and new friendships. 

The email exchange I had with this colleague was not only offensive, but disheartening. I expect to be retiring this year and for the first time in my 2 year-long contemplation of that event, look forward to being disassociated with this business.

I love what I do and believe in it with all my heart, but finding like-minded colleagues over the past six years has been a losing battle. I am the odd man out because I adore and connect with my clients, and to finally come to terms with that fact makes me a little sick to my stomach. I don't know why my perspective is viewed with disdain or disbelief, but most escorts won't allow themselves to embrace it.

Regardless, my days are numbered here. I may or may not find my benefactor before I leave, but I have other irons in the fire that are more my speed than the angry, phony "high-end" community.

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