PrinciplesCategory: General   Oct 13th 2015  10:51AM   0

I spend a lot of time thinking about principles. A specific list of core principles is a great tool to guide one through the complexities of life. Whenever I'm unsure which direction to turn or position to take, whenever I'm at all unclear about my feelings on an issue, I whittle it down to its core principle and immediately know where I stand.

For example, in recent years the issue of privacy has come to the forefront. Privacy itself is not a principle, per se. Principles are timeless and absolute. Privacy has practical applications based on the principle behind its purpose. If the "Internet is forever" then we have to consider whether it's fair to allow people to remain anonymous or erase their presence from Google searches altogether. To be human is to be fallible. Mistakes and missteps are unavoidable. To be anchored for life to one's past with a permanent, public record of seems counterproductive in some ways. Who says we shouldn't be allowed to reinvent ourselves? The very idea defies numerous principles I hold dear. 

Accountability is vital, yes, and is one of my dearly held principles. So are forgiveness and the opportunity for a (well-earned) fresh start. The right to autonomy and individuality is extremely dear to me. My core identity is priceless to me, but my reputation is damned valuable too, especially these days where one rumor can go viral and literally ruin a person's life.

I've said and done a few embarrassing, unenlightened things in my day. I was drunk once for 12+ years. There was no Internet back then and I have the only Polaroids in existence (available to view for a small fee, just fyi). Is it principled of me to control the details of my past? Yeah, my identity is all I truly, indisputably own. A reputation is a nebulous thing and as much as we'd all like to control THAT, we don't ... not fully, anyway. Other people, vicious, malicious, ignorant, toxic people can threaten to, or actually trash it and with wide reaching ramifications (damaging marriages, children's lives, careers or job prospects, etc.). This happened to one of my favorite patrons recently. It almost happened to me a few years back, by a relative of mine, no less. An arrogant sociopath who informed me he'd seriously considered (and therefore was fully capable of) smearing me online for reasons of pure spite. Obliterating any shot I might have to create a brand for a future, mainstream career. Obliterating any chance I might have of dating or marrying a man who had access to Google.

Privacy is the issue, but healthy boundaries and respect for autonomy, personal privacy and freedom are principles. Outing a gay civilian is unfair and unprincipled (no matter how many angry, man-hating escorts cackle about the poor sap's fate). Outing a gay congressman who espouses homophobia and enacts bigoted legislation is fair as fuck.

I find the current escort review system to be degrading and unfair to escorts and therefore abhorrent. I wouldn't have anything to do with TER if they paid me. Not even if they tripled my honorarium would I lay down with those pigs. I'm privileged and don't need their tools to boost my business, I'm aware of this. I don't judge women who use TER to market themselves, in fact I respect their initiative and willingness to do what they feel they must to build their business. 

What I don't respect, in fact what I find hilariously pathetic, is a newbie "upscale" escort stating she's too classy to take part in reviews, yet is perfectly willing to lay down with the TER pigs on her terms. As if that protects her from the filth and mud she's happily wallowing in.

I recently read this story on a newbie escort blog. The post was mostly a nonsensical rant about how she's not hurting anyone by using the forums and interactive TER features to meet potential clients and promote herself WITHIN THE VERY CULTURE SHE'S TOO GOOD TO BE A PART OF. When TER kicked her off the site she cried at length about the "unfairness," and yet she's wrong on both counts. It does hurt TER to have escorts using their site for free, to benefit from it without adding to its value. What could be more obvious? Don't get me wrong, if I had my way the escort community would storm the gates and take over that whole site. Trash it or revamp it in a way that honors escorts and is in their control. In lieu of that, she must either get fully on board with TER rules or severe ties.

You cannot have your cake and eat it too; that's absurd and childish. Whining about it makes you look even more pathetic. 

Their is no core principle to support this escort's right to use a private site in ways the site prohibits. There is, however, a core principle supporting the assertion she wouldn't know what "upscale" meant if she was wallowing in it. Upscale means distancing yourself in EVERY way from the lowlifes who promote oppression, exploitation, and misogyny.

You're not upscale, honey ... you're actually part of the problem. You're as entitled and self-centered as a TER hobbyist. 

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