The Great Sugarbabe/Escort DebateCategory: General   Nov 27th 2011  11:57AM   1

There’s a lot of talk lately about the difference between sugarbabe/sugardaddy arrangements and escort/client transactions. The Huffington Post, ABC News, and The NY Times among others, seem to take issue with the distinction, particularly whether or not “sugarbabes” are really just prostitutes. Having spent an equal amount of time marketing on both escort and sugardaddy sites, here’s my perspective on the great debate of late.

The main difference in regard to the men is that, occasionally, a potential "sugardaddy" discovers I'm a "pro" and suddenly gets all uptight, as if I've deceived him somehow or shirked my responsibility to share every aspect of my livelihood with him before we've met. Then, once he realizes that the woman he became so enamored with on the sugardaddy site is exactly the same woman presented here on this website (albeit with a few verbiage tweaks), he usually drops the matter entirely. Others, however, instantly bow out, succumbing to a lifetime of societal brainwashing, unable to overcome the deeply ingrained stigma surrounding this profession. In the case of the former, I like to think I've helped enlighten someone who is now slightly more evolved and, quite frankly, just a little more hip. In the case of the latter, well, there's nothing I can do for a man who willfully relinquishes control of his own sexuality to semantics. If he can’t think for himself, we’re incompatible anyway (but for the record, one’s moral code should probably come from the heart, not the dictionary).

Speaking of morality, it seems as if the general structure of sugardaddy/sugarbaby arrangementsor rather the lack thereoftends to attract women somewhat deficient in it. I base this accusation on what I've heard from both sugardaddies and potential sugarbabesthat the goal is less about engaging in a mutually beneficial arrangement than to string a guy along for as much as she can get in exchange for as little as possible in return. Sugardaddies always tell me how refreshing they find my clearly stated terms, that I put everything on the table and then (and this part is vital) follow through on my promises. The irony that this clear cut, reliable, "professional" approach is so appreciated by the very sugardaddies who wouldn't be caught dead with a pro, is completely lost on them.

Another key to my success is simply that I love and believe in what I do. But that's something that can't be taught, which is the main reason I refuse countless requests from wannabe sugarbabes to share the "secret" of my success with sugardaddies. These ladies are incapable of joyfully engaging in the unique type of intimacy I enjoy with my patrons, so in the past, when I have tried to impart some of my hard-won wisdom it was like talking to a brick wall, every time. The ladies who do get itI mean the few of us who really "get it"don't need my advice in the first place. They're already doing as well as I am.

Most men aren't stupid. And even the gullible ones don't deserve to be cheated or short-changed. Long-term success demands integrity and no amount of scheming will manifest abundancenot the kind that comes with peace of mind, anyway. There are deceitful escorts out there too, but most professionals depend on their good reputation and abide by their clearly stated terms, so escort clients always have more assurances than sugardaddies do. I know there are honest sugarbabes out there as well, lovely, trustworthy women willingly engaged in consensual relationships for an agreed upon consideration. It's this (non-)phenomenon causing journalists and bloggers everywhere to ask:  But aren't they really just prostitutes??

My answer to that question is that it's completely irrelevant. As long as we maintain healthy boundaries and are fairly compensated, it shouldn't be an issue. Seriously, no one who matters cares.

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