Dear FeministsCategory: General   Mar 15th 2014  12:15PM   0

Dear civilian feminists, What's with the escort hate? Chill out.

There are plenty of men to go around and escorts aren't "training" them to objectify you. Put down the Kool-aid, put on your big girl panties, and stop whining. Believe it or not, we're all on the same side. In fact, escorts and companions are doing you a favor. Considering the structure of, boundaries around, and fair exchange within our interactions, maybe you could learn a thing or two?

Allow me to illustrate my point.

There's a car wash in my neighborhood that employs mostly Mexicans to hand wash & dry customers' cars. Mexicans and women are each close to 50% of the population of Austin, and it's fair to say our institutionalized sexism is somewhere on par with the institutionalized racism around here. Also, my upscale neighborhood is packed with young, single, privileged white guys, most of whom have a touch of both. 

Here's the thing:  I GUARANTEE you, not one of those guys has approached random Mexicans on the street with the expectation of getting his BMW washed. Nor is the average American male expecting sex from random women just because SOME women make it available for monetary compensation. Racism and sexism exist. Escorts and Mexicans aren't to blame.

Escorts don't "train" men to objectify women. If anything escorts remind them of women's inherent value. Escorts are living proof that time, energy, and company aren't free and do deserve fair, mutually agreed upon consideration (either with equal amounts of time/energy/company or a little cold, hard each her own). 

Ladies, if you're so offended by someone else's consensual compensation and/or objectification, maybe (get a life? or) campaign to criminalize casual sex and random hookups. Storm City Hall—HANG THE SINGLES BARS and TORCH OK-CUPID!—because (using your logic), that consensual behavior is affecting the rest of us by "training" men how to treat all women everywhere. Personally, I ensure all men everywhere treat me with respect by behaving in ways that command it, including setting boundaries and enacting concequences. But even if other women could "train" all men to feel entitled, wouldn't giving it up for free be the behavior to demonize? 

Whatever. Your argument doesn't hold water. It's a desperate rationalization based in fear of losing your leverage. You're terrified that if non-monogamous sex and companionship are too convenient and available to the men there won't be any leftover for you to trap into marriage.

Here's the other thing:  Women of value don't need leverage.

Don't you think you have anything else to offer? That's so sad. Maybe you should consider a weekend workshop on empowerment or self-awareness or something. Instead of projecting your fear and self-doubt outward on other women.

Escorts are not your competition. You puritanical feminists are your own worst enemy.

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